Fad Diet Comedians Pillows

The cake diet.

All Natural Nothing

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

''Food miles' is a big issue, so I'm reducing the distance my food travels by moving my fridge into the living room.'

'The doctor told me to introduce more greens into my diet.'

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

You are what you eat (Nuts).

Fast Food Dieter

"I'm on a diet, how many calories in a fly?"

'The doctor told me to introduce more greens in my diet.'

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

'I'm fat, I eat too much and my blood pressure is high. . . Have a beer and some chips but feel guilty about it.'

'You'll like this. It has no nutritional value at all.'

Chocolate Munchies. Only 100 calories...' awesome!' - '' - 'Runchy! Rurrgh!!' - '' - 'Oh, hold on. 100 calories per Munchie' - '' -

"I can guarantee on this diet you'll lose at least 50 pounds a month, until you cancel your standing order!"

Toilet roll beauty tips.

'I try to eat a varied diet. One day I'll eat dark chocolate, one day I'll eat white chocolate and one day I'll eat milk chocolate.'

Maybe yuou simply have too many omega 3 fatty acids

Sick Of A Low-Carb Diet

"I'm trying to stick to a Paleo diet. Do you think cavemen had wasabi sauce on their sushi?"

'If you feel guilty, I can put our high fat vanilla ice cream in one of our low fat cups.'

"I've been on the hip and thigh diet."

Exercise and diet at the same time - open and close your refrigerator door 100 times.

'I take it this wasn't quite the outcome you were expecting from your 'spot reduction diet'?'

'Looking at the stars makes me feel small. I'm going off of my diet.'

'The diet plate is just like the regular plate, M'sieur, except that you have to eat it through a tennis racquet.'

"Unbelievable! Even Internet cookies made me gain weight."

'So? -- What could be more Zen than empty calories?'

'Notice: results of new studies: most of what was good for you is bad for you - most of what was bad for you is good for you'