Fad Diet Comedians Gifts

The cake diet.

All Natural Nothing

'According to the weight chart, if you were a condor, you'd have a wingspan of 97 feet.'

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

'Do you have to use that? -- tongue depressors make me hungry.'

''Food miles' is a big issue, so I'm reducing the distance my food travels by moving my fridge into the living room.'

'The doctor told me to introduce more greens into my diet.'

Looking at belt - "One more notch, room for desert."

Fast Food Dieter

You are what you eat (Nuts).

"I'm on a diet, how many calories in a fly?"

'The doctor told me to introduce more greens in my diet.'

"Here we go again, every 30,000 years or so this Paleo diet becomes a fad."

Exit. My problem is restaurants have drive-throughs, and fitness centers don't.

'I warned you about stuffing yourself with carbs, didn't I?'

Milk Toast: One of the World's Most Deadly Foods!

"Try to eat more coconuts and fish."

'I'm fat, I eat too much and my blood pressure is high. . . Have a beer and some chips but feel guilty about it.'

'You'll like this. It has no nutritional value at all.'

"I can guarantee on this diet you'll lose at least 50 pounds a month, until you cancel your standing order!"

Toilet roll beauty tips.

Chocolate Munchies. Only 100 calories...' awesome!' - '' - 'Runchy! Rurrgh!!' - '' - 'Oh, hold on. 100 calories per Munchie' - '' -

Maybe yuou simply have too many omega 3 fatty acids

'I try to eat a varied diet. One day I'll eat dark chocolate, one day I'll eat white chocolate and one day I'll eat milk chocolate.'

Sick Of A Low-Carb Diet

'If you feel guilty, I can put our high fat vanilla ice cream in one of our low fat cups.'

"I've been on the hip and thigh diet."

"I'm trying to stick to a Paleo diet. Do you think cavemen had wasabi sauce on their sushi?"

'I take it this wasn't quite the outcome you were expecting from your 'spot reduction diet'?'

Exercise and diet at the same time - open and close your refrigerator door 100 times.

"Unbelievable! Even Internet cookies made me gain weight."

'No! No! - it's an ELASTIC band I want!'

'Looking at the stars makes me feel small. I'm going off of my diet.'

A rubber bone? Are you on some kind of fad diet?

Slim-quik liquid diet box floats up to man stranded on a desert island.