Faculty Sabbatical Gifts

Alone in the great blue sea at last, Professor Hoehns comes to know panic firsthand.

Working Holiday

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

The food chain is like a huge corporation, the only one who really enjoys it, is the guy at the top!

"Is there an option to make my out-of-office message permanent?"

Technological Dependence.

I've given you 110 for ten years, like you asked. Now I'm taking that year off that I've earned!

'This part was tenure.'

"The state of graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my colleegs agrree that there maths isn't much better."

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

The Janitor at the Harvard University Alumni Reunion is one of the Gang.

'You know your problem, Harlan? You need to get in touch with your 'inner beach bum'.'

"I'm taking some time off to get away from the stress. See you in ten years."

'Ideally, I'd like a ticket to where ever my luggage is going.'

Safe spaces?

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

End of Affirmative Action

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

"You're on vacation. Stop trying to type things."

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

"Professor Van Winkle, the university has instituted Reevaluation of Tenure, time to wake up."

'Are you sure we should do all this praying on Sunday? -- I thought it was God's day off.'

'I am not doing nothing... I am perfecting inertia.'

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

"Hello sir? I believe your name is Grant. Would you mind if I ask you a few questions about yourself?"

Academics at the Beach: Professor Wilson receives his email messages by the use of willpower alone.

"Professor Williams had at first been reluctant to join the Assistant Deans in their Think Great Thoughts aerobics. He later came to enjoy the activity."

'We took a look at our passport pictures and realized that we need a vacation.'

"Night of the living adjunct professor" "What's a sabbatical?" "Tenure is boring!" "I have four desks in four schools!" "I have more prestige than a grad student."

Washington Crossing the Delaware, Having Been Invited to Join the Faculty at Princeton

"It's a clear case of RLS: Repetitive Lecture Syndrome."

"They've decided to resolve the department's conflicting educational philosophies."

After years of captivity and cruel treatment, Buster was finally free - free to pedal the open plains to his heart's content!