Faculty Member T-Shirts

Washington Crossing the Delaware, Having Been Invited to Join the Faculty at Princeton

"Now, just to review, at the last faculty meeting we established that Marcia hates Fred, Fred hates Carol and Marcia, Carol and Larry despise me, and I hate Larry, Marcia, Fred and Penny."

"I hereby bring to order this Sunday session of the Faculty Senate."

"May I remind the faculty that, in the event of a nuclear strike, atom bombs take a gender-neutral pronoun."

The Janitor at the Harvard University Alumni Reunion is one of the Gang.

Tooth fairy telling new students that she is the Head of Dentistry at their University

"Ladies and gentlemen, this lecture is for stimulation purposes only."

'You are so just not simply an anecdotal reference in an oversized college textbook. Of course, you know that.'

"I'm basically a Rimbaudist, but with a little Ferlinghetti thrown in on my father's side."

Dr. Shepard finds the Harvard Faculty Club cool to his lunch pyjamas.

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"Do you want to play doctorate?"

'... And some primitive cultures, believed that 'the great ones' modelled us from clay.'

"Welcome to the future"

"Of course he's smiling. He's getting $15,000 to give a lecture on free speech."

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

Ethics exam cheater.

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

'Medical school's been more challenging since the cadavers turned into zombies.'

'Dr.Sall Thompson got so excited over the new spring design she took a quantum leap!'

Grad School Parent-Teacher Conference

"I've always dreamed of being on an academic team like this! It's great that we can all depend on each other!"

Big Bang Theory.

"Finally, after years of work, irrefutable proof that I'm a nerd."

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

'Hmph. College kids.'

"E=MC² Energy=Milk·Coffee²"

Fear/Knowledge

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'Never mind inspiration. I need background material on atomic physics.'