Faculty Members T-Shirts

"Millstone is not yet a full professor."

Gender Equality

'Hmph. College kids.'

Thinking Gears

'BANG' and a cosmology institute appears.

Ladies of the Creation! - No. VIII - Mary protecting the weaker sex

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

Euripides: 'If we could be twice young and twice old, we could correct all our mistakes.'

All Hail the Matriarchy

'I need to borrow your Ph.D. for a half hour tomorrow. I have a major problem to solve.'

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

"All those training sessions, seminars and studies... ... to reinforce the reality of womens equality and extirpate any remnants of a deluded belief in male superiority When all we had to do was show them Rachel Daly doing a bicycle kick GASP!"

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

Chicken soup for the adjunct professors soul

'I'm pretty sure I have a Ph.D. I think one came bundled with my new computer.'

Through These Hallowed Halls, walks Our Future - "Talk about putting pressure on a guy!"

"The state of graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my colleegs agrree that there maths isn't much better."

"This woman's lib is getting beyond a joke!"

Subatomic particles

"Congrats! It's a health future unequally paid sexual harassment victim!"

"There's the pressure from my public, naturally, as well as the pressure from my publisher, my agent, and all that. But the real pressure comes from that devil inside that makes me different from other men, that makes me a writer. But, of course, you know all about pressure, grinding out those papers at Sarah Lawrence."

It's a letter from Tim. He claims his grades are improving and he might even make the DEEN's list.

What Does God Know?

The Giamatti era

The Janitor at the Harvard University Alumni Reunion is one of the Gang.

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

"Why can't you be more like little Hester Prynne? She's getting straight A's."

"Well, here's your problem. You need an O right there."

"No, Einstein's theory of relativity isn't, 'don't marry your cousin.'"

Smart Bomb.

"This year the endowed chair will go to whomever pulls the sword from the stone."

Professor Swizzlestix explains his point....

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

"Well, we got the grant."