Retired Faculty T-Shirts

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

Seniors Snooker Tournament.

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

Academics At The Beach: The Old Man And The Sea

"Your brow is definitely more furrowed than it used to be!"

"Clive used to be an astronaut."

'I am not doing nothing ... I am perfecting inertia.'

I feel better than ever physically but I'm totally obsolete at work. In life 60 is the new 40. In the workplace 40 is the new 60.

"The state of graduates literacy levels is shoking and both my colleegs agrree that there maths isn't much better."

'I grew sick of Madison Avenue,so I quit,bought the bar and never looked back.'

Happy Retirement

I'm not substitute teaching after all. How come? They wanted a criminal background check! I was a principal for 15 years. They know me! Yes, but

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

The Janitor at the Harvard University Alumni Reunion is one of the Gang.

Despite Having Given Up His Veterinary Practice George liked To Keep His Hand In...

'Can't you forget you were an art teacher?'

'Sure, I remember using carbon paper. Does that carbon date me?'

Safe spaces?

End of Affirmative Action

"I'm retired now - since I sold my 'know when you're naughty or nice' technology to NSA last year."

'Now that the price of gold is up, we'd like to have your retirement watch back, Boggs.'

"First I alienated the apes who'd raised me. Then there was a lot of turmoil with the colonials pulling out. Now Jane and me are semi-retired and I haven't swing through the trees in ages. Want a drink?"

'I planned to go to work, cancel my appointments, kick back and just relax...then I remembered I'm retired.'

The F.B.I.'s Least Wanted.

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

'When 900 years you reach, retire, you will not.'

'In the future, everyone will have fifteen minutes of tenure.'

"Professor Van Winkle, the university has instituted Reevaluation of Tenure, time to wake up."

"We'll go for a nice space-walk later on."

'This is as close to a round up I'll ever get.'

"Night of the living adjunct professor" "What's a sabbatical?" "Tenure is boring!" "I have four desks in four schools!" "I have more prestige than a grad student."

"Professor Williams had at first been reluctant to join the Assistant Deans in their Think Great Thoughts aerobics. He later came to enjoy the activity."

"Hello sir? I believe your name is Grant. Would you mind if I ask you a few questions about yourself?"

'Introducing one of our top salesmen despite his old age. . .'