College Faculty T-Shirts

'I'm worried -- It's getting harder and harder to qualify for Federal grants!'

"Night of the living adjunct professor" "What's a sabbatical?" "Tenure is boring!" "I have four desks in four schools!" "I have more prestige than a grad student."

A Long Rest

I was supposed to speak at Berkeley about my new book on male-female relations. What do you mean "supposed to"? A few students protested, and before we knew it, radical outside agitators from the Anti-Lovin' Brigade started throwing Molotov cocktails. Then everyone blamed the students, and Berkeley fell sixteen notches on the Princeton Review's list of party schools. I'm surprised you let some "brigade" shut down your speech, Randy. The cute brigadier's eyes and mine met across a burning quad ..

Recovering Academics

"If Shakespeare were alive today, he would be driving this make of Sports Utility Vehicle."

"I'm in a molting period. I'm shedding all of my French philosophers."

"To torture an insect or not to torture an insect, that is the question."

'I'm reading aloud, Jeremy - My lips are SUPPOSED to be moving!'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Ed Flanders, Deconstruction Worker

'Hmph. College kids.'

Thought for today: "All the world's a stage." - Shakespeare. And boy, are there a lot of drama critics.

Thinking Gears

"You're going to hate yourself."

'If you were disturbed by any issues raised, please call your mum.'

Frontispiece to the first volume of 'Master Humphrey's Clock'

Victor Hugo

Nathaniel Hawthorne

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

Captain Ahab searched for a vaccine.

'Desert island cartoons - and you?'

"Make a lot of money."

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

'Hamlet'

Shakespeare does stand-up comedy in the round.

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

"Once upon a midnight dreary / while I pondered weak and weary."

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

U of Debt

William Shakespeare a.k.a. Francis Bacon, Earl of Essex....

University Soapflakes

"I know this is not a proper job for a PhD, Mom, but I have student loans to repay."

The Demise of Tinkerbell

Shakespeare was bisexual