Factoids Gifts

Before the Internet

Fear/Knowledge

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

baby sweetcorn...

"We're at the top of the food chain and rulers of all we survey. What could possibly go wrong?"

Funky Facts: Football.

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

'You know what they say...live fast, die young and leave a great fossil.'

"Useless information"

"It's probably just seasonal."

Useless information desk at trivia buff convention

'We unfortunately had to compress our dinosaur area due to budget cuts. On the bright side, TyrannoTriStegoApatoHadroPlesioSaurodon Rex here is now the museum's most popular exhibit.'

Reporter #6: television.

Show and Tell: 'These came from our orgasmic garden.'

"When I grow up, I want to be a scientists like Uncle Grog."

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

"When it's that old, you don't need to add 'A.D.' or 'B.C.'"

"Perhaps there is such a thing as being too well-informed."

'Did you know there's a river in Brazil named after Amazon?'

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

'Damn! McGee's good!'

Asteroid Denying Dinosaur vs. Asteroid Believing Dinosaur.

'The guy in the scarecrow shop promised me that nothing scares crows better than the 'Giant Fox XR50'.'

Fossil bands

"I'm thinking tonight we should try the new chicken and tuna."

"Aw, Dad! I don't wanna move. I just made friends with a fossil!"

The Month of July

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

"Is that you talking or Wikipedia?"

'Well number 34 has run dry and is now pumping fossils.'

'The Werewolf Diet? It's great: you can eat anything you want, but only during the full moon.'

"Given a choice, would you prefer to be buried, cremated or converted to fossil fuel?"

Signs of prehistoric party behavior.

'Tartar sauce?! Heavens no. My dentist would kill me.'

'I never knew there was a common ancestor of man and chicken.'