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Before the Internet

Fear/Knowledge

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

baby sweetcorn...

"We're at the top of the food chain and rulers of all we survey. What could possibly go wrong?"

Funky Facts: Football.

"Unfortunately Daddy already owes the government about 500,000 Pokemon cards."

'You know what they say...live fast, die young and leave a great fossil.'

"Useless information"

"It's probably just seasonal."

Reporter #6: television.

'We unfortunately had to compress our dinosaur area due to budget cuts. On the bright side, TyrannoTriStegoApatoHadroPlesioSaurodon Rex here is now the museum's most popular exhibit.'

Useless information desk at trivia buff convention

Show and Tell: 'These came from our orgasmic garden.'

"When I grow up, I want to be a scientists like Uncle Grog."

'Of course, I'm not one of those glamorous paleontologists who are all over TV these days.'

"Perhaps there is such a thing as being too well-informed."

"When it's that old, you don't need to add 'A.D.' or 'B.C.'"

'Damn! McGee's good!'

"Of course I'm going to give him a tip - he should take lessons!"

Asteroid Denying Dinosaur vs. Asteroid Believing Dinosaur.

'The guy in the scarecrow shop promised me that nothing scares crows better than the 'Giant Fox XR50'.'

"I'm thinking tonight we should try the new chicken and tuna."

"Aw, Dad! I don't wanna move. I just made friends with a fossil!"

'You want Chinese food? Are you going to have a baby or something?'

"Is that you talking or Wikipedia?"

The Month of July

'Well number 34 has run dry and is now pumping fossils.'

"Given a choice, would you prefer to be buried, cremated or converted to fossil fuel?"

'The Werewolf Diet? It's great: you can eat anything you want, but only during the full moon.'

Signs of prehistoric party behavior.

'Tartar sauce?! Heavens no. My dentist would kill me.'

Sense of dread & foreboding Information blackout Illumination Facts known

"I'm suffering the unbearable loneliness of being right on the internet."