Facility Aficionados Gifts

Men on modernised moon

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

'Do you have any specific regulations concerning travelling with pets?'

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

Considering she started here as an office temp she's done quite well.

"I'm so glad we don't need a selfie stick."

'That's it gentlemen, we're broke. Anybody know any good jokes?'

Welcome Bureaucrats! (Convention of bureaucrats).

'They're out there, they swallow your stuff, and who're you gonna call?'

'Four years of medical school and three years of residency, and you come bothering me with the sniffles?'

The boss and her baby

Couple putting baby through the scanner.

'U.S. Manufacturing'

"... with a side of brown rice, right. And can the delivery guy stop at the pharmacy and pick up my prescription?"

'How often does the boss visit the plant?'

Jake wonders if the manufacturer went a little too far with its new earth mover product line.

"A drone is hovering over the plant. Find out if it's from OSHA!"

'We'd like to start by boarding anyone with hot food they've been waiting to eat on the plane.'

"Well that's just great!! I guess we really are flightless birds now!!"

"After buying his 698th mobile device, his wife had him committed."

'When you're right, you're right. When you're wrong, you're fired.'

"Fred and Ginger, but of course not the Fred and Ginger."

Books versus TV.

"I just got a new high-def television, but I can't enjoy it because I have low-def eyesight."

"This app encrypts verbal communications. My doctor's handwriting is all we need to encrypt everything else."

'It's a great invention, Mr. Bell, but the ringtone is sort of boring.'

Uptight Fishing...'we put the bait on for you'

Give it to me straight, Doc — what's the bottom line?

Human Resources...Cyborg Resources.