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Jonah met a strange wooden boy in the belly of the whale.

'This has all the makings of a fable. But first lets take lots of tests.'

"Why is there so much emphasis put on our stupid race?" "I think people are more interested in it as a metaphor than as an actual race." "Slow and steady wins the race, that sort of thing." "That would explain why I always lose..." "Bartender, another please." "Maybe you should slow down." "You never learn do you?"

'I don't care what the Hares have. Dial-Up is good enough for us!'

Goodnight Moon for the Misbegotten

"Eat my dust!"

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

'The Easter Bunny has started outsourcing to us.'

'The next case Your Honor, is a palimony suit. The ant vs the grasshopper.'

'Have you tried a licensed health practicioner?'

'I'll place the bets. You just be sure to hit the hare with the tranquilizer.'

Drug Testing Unit: 'Uh Oh!'

"Where's my order!? This service is terrible! That stuff will be cold by the time it gets here!! What's the hold-up!?!"

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

'If you're out and about today don't forget the pith helmet.'

'Thanks to the internet, I can telecommute a few days a week now: I don't need to waste so much time travelling...'

"After the big race, the tortoise and the hare are ordered to provide urine samples."

Hare tells tortoise: 'Remembe the plan: on the final stretch, you go down.'

Androcles, the Lion, and Sid, health insurance auditor.

Snow White and the Seven Dorks.

The tortoise and the hare are in a shoe store trying on shoes in preparation for their race.

"They're perfect astronauts. Fast velocity followed by a long, slow pace."

"Same hectic routine every damn year. Mind if I hang back with you?"

' Sheesh! I think people are getting tired of hearing those fables of Aesop's

"I think feeling a certain amount of anxiety over the up coming race with the Hare is perfectly normal!"

Scrabble with the Hares and Tortoise

'Then, one day a kid yelled, 'Man, look at that ugly duck with the long neck and the black mole over it's beak.'. To think I spent years parading around thinking I was a swan.'

The tortoise and hare

Yes, I am slow, but my life expectancy is way longer than yours, so I can still achieve a lot in life...