Eye Exam Humorist Pillows

'No you can't take a copy home to prepare for your eye exam next week'

Closing Laugh Optician

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

"All other letters have been disallowed."

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

I believe there is something wrong with Tommy: He has perfect eyesight...

"Ok, now can you read this text from my ex-wife? Because I'm scared to."

Oculist.

"I never thought you'd live to be 90 either. By the way, you're only 67."

"You should find your eyesight improving once you remove the false eyelashes."

Budget Opticians.

'Does that mean my reflexes are GOOD then, doctor?'

',,,and she had the nerve to say I needed new glasses,'

'Now cover the other eye & read the same line.'

'Julie,has anyone told you how beautiful you look today? If so send them in for an eye test straight away!'

"Emergoplatzkyduble." "Bori gluk!"

'It's just hot dogs. What does the health department care about hot dogs?'

Malcolm realised he might need glasses when he realised his adjustable reading poles couldn't be extended any further.

Boxer with glasses.

'And you DROVE here, Mr. Hartwelder?'

"Well Mr. Bisley, your test results are off the scale. . !"

'You have inflammation in both eyes but as far as I can see, there's no information behind them.'

Good News, You have perfect 20 vision!

"For God's sake, Mr. Danvers, work with me here!"

"Hey - long time no see. . . !"

Optometrist: Eyes Examined While You Wait.

'I am afraid Mr Cyclops, they only come in pairs.'

Man reads subliminal message during eye test.

'Do you have this chart in Big Print'

Olive that looks suspiciously like an eye!

Ned Buntz, U.S. Marshall and Frontier Optometrist

'Guess who I bumped into today? EVERYBODY!'