Eye Exam Humorist Gifts

'No you can't take a copy home to prepare for your eye exam next week'

Closing Laugh Optician

"Happy birthday, dear. You still have that sparkle in your eyes!" "That sparkle burned out years ago. These are cataracts."

Love is Blind.

"All other letters have been disallowed."

'When are you going to admit you need glasses?'

'The other kids at school say I might need glasses, Dad.'

NHS/Private Eye Care.

'Everyone keeps telling me I need my eyes checked, so here I am!'

I believe there is something wrong with Tommy: He has perfect eyesight...

"Ok, now can you read this text from my ex-wife? Because I'm scared to."

"You should find your eyesight improving once you remove the false eyelashes."

Oculist.

"I never thought you'd live to be 90 either. By the way, you're only 67."

'Does that mean my reflexes are GOOD then, doctor?'

Budget Opticians.

',,,and she had the nerve to say I needed new glasses,'

'Now cover the other eye & read the same line.'

'Julie,has anyone told you how beautiful you look today? If so send them in for an eye test straight away!'

Malcolm realised he might need glasses when he realised his adjustable reading poles couldn't be extended any further.

'It's just hot dogs. What does the health department care about hot dogs?'

"Emergoplatzkyduble." "Bori gluk!"

'And you DROVE here, Mr. Hartwelder?'

Boxer with glasses.

"Well Mr. Bisley, your test results are off the scale. . !"

"Hey - long time no see. . . !"

'You have inflammation in both eyes but as far as I can see, there's no information behind them.'

'I am afraid Mr Cyclops, they only come in pairs.'

Good News, You have perfect 20 vision!

'How aout this one? Better or worse?'

"For God's sake, Mr. Danvers, work with me here!"

Optometrist: Eyes Examined While You Wait.

Man reads subliminal message during eye test.

'Do you have this chart in Big Print'

Olive that looks suspiciously like an eye!