Eye Chart Aficionado Gifts

Man at Optometrists and reading an eye chart that spells out 'AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OI OI OI OI OI OI'..

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

'Maybe the reason we don't have those 'off the chart' sales anymore is because our charts are too big.'

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

'Sorry, everyone. That last chart kind of startled me.'

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

Business is off the chart.

Soaring Profits

Expenses/Income. "Our only problem is working out how to switch these."

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

Gloat

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

Out.

We Have A Lot To Cover.....

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

'This chart shows how much time we waste every day looking at charts.'

Downward arrow on progress chart goes through the floor: 'OK, I know this doesn't look good ...'

'If you're out of quarterly earnings, I'll take the assets and liabilities breakdown.'

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'And this is after the creation of a Special Effects Department.'

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

"Your resume says that you're an expert on pie charts and your main specialty is apple pie..."

"I wouldn't stand there, if I were you."