Eye Chart Aficionado T-Shirts

Man at Optometrists and reading an eye chart that spells out 'AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OI OI OI OI OI OI'..

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

'I should not that the cherry and whipped cream were an afterthought created by our graphics dept.'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

'Now, keep in mind that these numbers are only as accurate as the fictitious data, ludicrous assumptions and wishful thinking they're based upon!'

"Here are the new sales figures, which way up would you like them?"

"We need to change, but WHEN?"

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

'Maybe the reason we don't have those 'off the chart' sales anymore is because our charts are too big.'

'If I may say so, business is booming.'

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

The Optician At Home: "....And it didn't fit the other sister, either. Then Cinderella tried on the glasses, and she could see perfectly."

'Sorry, everyone. That last chart kind of startled me.'

Business is off the chart.

Soaring Profits

Expenses/Income. "Our only problem is working out how to switch these."

'We're all right as long as they think we're taking millions.'

"Cheer up, if this carries on we could become a very attractive takeover target.

Gloat

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

'Transylvania's most famous Optometrist 'Count Mracula'.'

We Have A Lot To Cover.....

'Can't he ever use a different kind of chart?'

'This chart shows how much time we waste every day looking at charts.'

Out.

'If you're out of quarterly earnings, I'll take the assets and liabilities breakdown.'

Downward arrow on progress chart goes through the floor: 'OK, I know this doesn't look good ...'

'85.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

'Maybe we need new profit charts?'

'And this is after the creation of a Special Effects Department.'

'Yes,we have equal pay in that we are grossly underpaid, all of us.'

'You might show a little excitement at the figures, Johnson!'