Extreme Traveler Gifts

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

Kardiff.

'Next year I'm hiring a tank!'

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

'What a time to return from climbing! There's not way your coming into this house tonight.'

"Excuse me, I think you'll find I've reserved that luggage rack space ..."

Safari.

Are you interested in UFOs? Advanced life forms? Free medical screenings? Alternative underwear? Snacks and refreshments? Non-sexual turtles? Reverse pound cake? Science? Join us.

100k Desert Crawl

Travel Agency: Pacific time cures all ills.

"Welcome to the French Quarter!"

"This patient must be really rich! He brought back the most extravagant illnesses from exotic holiday spots."

Moon Souvenirs

'Just doing the school run.'

Odd Spas

'I think we went too far off the road, Hank.'

"Ever since my great fall, I've been searching for that same adrenaline rush."

Dollywood...Nirvana... 'I'm lost.'

Edna's Couch and Breakfast.

Tourist sunbathing on Easter Island beach

'Me lost, I come in peace.'

'You're checking in for our flight--you don't have to play max coins.'

"At least we're not spending money on gas for travel."

'You would think that our agent could make better travel arrangements for us than this.'

'Go to Hell'

"Ideally we're keen to go somewhere that they're not trying to kill us."

'Relax, folks, he just did that for me. When I get the hiccups, a little scare never fails to cure them.'

Mexicans always drink their tequila with a lemon and a little salt!

"I should've known better than to AirBNB from a bird."

'Is there an empty apartment I can use for cultural events?'

Mountaineer accidentally knocks off the peak of a mountain.

Englishmen in Brittany Pt. 1

'How was your holiday? Go anywhere interesting?'