Extracurricular Extraordinaire T-Shirts

I drive, therefore I am.

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

Cheers For The Hollyhock Middle School Chess Team

Applause. Clap clap bravo. Spring musical. Cats. You were terrific! Our little girl!

I can't decide. Should I go to soccer camp 3 weeks in a row? Or soccer, then baseball then lacrosse camp? 3 soccers. Isn't overspecializing at his age bad? Possibly. But 3 different sports means�buying 3 different sets of expensive equipment. Right, He does have a mean corner kick.

Back to school.

'Does sports trivia count as something I learned today?'

Come on! They're posting the spring musical. I can't wait! I want a romantic part! With and elegant gown. Good luck with that! We're doing "Cats."

In addition to brilliant grades and perfect SATs � Parents' night. College admissions. Your child should excel at 3 sports and lead a school extra-curricular like the newspaper. Don't the arts count? Sure! If your child sings, for example � A part on 'Glee' or in the Metropolitan Opera would certainly help. Our kids are doomed.

Overloaded with extracurricular activities, Griffin's body began to grow an extra brain to cope with it all.

"Hey, there's Sara, padding her college-entrance résumé!"

EXTROVERTS ANONYMOUS

Mom? Eco club is starting a campaign to eat local food. Good idea. Would you please pack me a lunch from organic stuff grown near here? Ok. I'm sure we have something. Thanks! Oh, boy. A beet sandwich.

Science Lab. I have to work late, dear --- I spent most of the day going the wrong way.

Look! There's a photo of our eco club's Earth Day actions in the newspaper! Sports. Power up the green machine!! I could use more copies. Me too. They're going to really power up my college applications.

"I just figured she was holding all my calls. Turns out she's been running the company."

"Stop applying! You've been accepted to three universities!"

We need an eco project that actually changes things. Ha! Good luck. Eco-club. Hey! We cut the school's use of plastic bottles 50% from last fall. Ahem. This year I feel 50% guiltier.

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

"Don't forget to click 'Reply All.'"

A man on a desert island has an inbox and outbox both filled with sand.

'The good news is that all the teachers liked the weekend brainstorming retreat. The bad news is that twelve of them are out today with splitting headaches.'

"Any missed assignments can be excused only with a note from your internet service provider."

Zinzhoff wins Nobel Prize/Creates life in test tube/Or was it in there when he started?

Your counselor wants you to concentrate on one sport. Ok. Sports Camp. Which do you like best? Maybe baseball. Great. Or soccer or lacrosse. I'm proud of you, Teddy! You don't care about being the cool sports star! Ok. Then soccer.

Your mother and I don't think the weekend lacrosse league is a good idea, Teddy. Why not? Too much driving. But I ride the school bus home from practice all week! Exactly! Our favorite mass transit vehicle! I can't wait to get my license!

'More or less?'

Always keep your eyes on the ball, Tigers!! Why? I never get to play. Crack. Whack! Any other questions? Will this get me out of practice?

"Well, don't look at me, you got him the chemistry set!"

"Blood sweat and tears. I think it's supposed to make us feel guilty."

'I give all my new teachers the same advice. Never minimize the transformative power of a smile attached to your words.'

'Teacher says I don't pay attention, I have no retention but I'm great at detention.'

"Just teachers' lounge will suffice, Ed."

"I just always show up to everything!"

"What A Party."