Extinction Buffs Pillows

Geekasaurus.

"Walk, hell- I gotta dance."

How am I abducting?

Aliens with abducted person look at a suggestion box.

'Typical man - why can't he just ask for directions?'

Apocalypse Research Center

Early accounting scandals.

"Something will fall down from the sky and it will be the end of the world - just because you didn't eat all of your carrion for lunch, my boy!"

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

"Frank, I want you to try antidepressants."

'Humans do it, why couldn't we? Instead of chasing food, we could breed it: It's all explained in my report...'

Hysterically laughing monster.

What Sisyphus Learned: "When life gets rough, you sure find out who your friends are!"

"Some dinosaurs died out more quickly than others" "You want some?"

'Catch a pair of chimps and do a complete makeover on them.'

"Just great. These humans bring us back from extinction just in time for another global climate catastrophe."

"What asteroid?"

'If you think using a stick is evolutionary, wait till you try one these dipped in chocolate.'

Lost aliens checking their map.

"Finish your anchovies and then you can evolve."

Hunter-Gatherer, Agriculture, Services, Tech. . . Job-Hunter-Gatherer.

"Earth, you'll need our standard Roswell cover"

'Spot of bother Noah - one of the Mastodons doesn't fancy the partner you've picked for him.'

"Tell me about a time you identified a problem that others didn't see coming."

"They call you Abominable and me a monster, and they don't even know us."

"I decided to go on land after I got the sneaker deal."

'Lightening hit the band shell while the orchestra was playing...'

Person welcomes alien to Earth, and is consequently zapped.

"The sideburns really do nothing for me!"

Alien spaceship gets tangled in a kite.

"Professor, just how long did you say that evolution thing takes?"

"Think about it: State-of-the-art tar preservation! And then, when we eventually find a cure for this extinction thing, there YOU are! On the ground floor!"

"Great! The world ended and I slept right through it!"