Expressive Eater T-Shirts

"Without social media how would everyone know that I was vegan?"

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

"Even the waiters here are organic."

Heavy man sees 'Comfort Food' aisle

'I used to think I was the only one kids hated... I don't know what I'd do if it weren't for you guys.'

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

'Another neat trick is to cut regular spaghetti into little pieces, and next thing you know you've got yourself a bowl of spaghetti-i-s.'

"There are no croutons. I use tater tots on my salad."

Sm. Pepperoni & Mushroom Cloud

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

"I'd go with French Impressionist. It evokes the burnished golds of autumn leaves and the bittersweet regrets of lost love. It's also on special."

Children's Dream Dinners: Superhero Special

Pizza with Extra Extra Cheese.

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

"Can you just recommend something? Neither of us can possibly focus long enough to read a menu."

"Young man, the world is your oyster, but for God�s sake avoid peanuts, soy, milk, eggs, wheat, fish, tree nuts, and chocolate."

"Can you recommend a nice red wine that goes well with a broken heart?"

Ice Cream Flavors

"Eating huge amounts of chocolate sometimes helps."

"As you can see, my culinary creations are eclectic."

Access Denied!

'Are you ready for dessert?'

Molecular gastronomy.

Boy who has eaten oysters and grown fat

'Food has replaced sex in my life. Now I can't even get into my own pants.'

'I think we should eat out in the hotel tomorrow dear.'

Cafe Philosophique

Diners sit in high chairs, wear bibs and eat baby food. Man says: 'I love this place, it's just so retro.'

Endangered Entrees

'But who comforts the comfort food? I'll tell you who: NOBODY.'

'Can I get you anything else, sir?'

"Stop playing with your food and eat your dinner!"

Saturn Devouring His Feelings

"You came up in therapy this morning."