Expressionless Explorer T-Shirts

Even in a family photograph, the Doberman's remained expressionless, leaving the viewer unsure if they were happy, or about to attack.

Paul Klee

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

You've Had Enough!

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

"I won't be in today, I'm feeling a little under the coffee table."

"Vanessa has done a not bad de Kooning."

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

"There's no way we can get him ow. He's completely under the covers."

The Elephant in the Womb

National Coffee Day

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'You've had enough.'

'You always talk about robbing Peter to pay Paul, but you never mention Mary.'

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

"You scratch my back, I'll scratch your is just a figure of speech, Ned. A little left, and higher."

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

"I can't solve for X. I have a fear of the unknown!"

'You're no Pollock.'

Museum of Natural Cliches

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

'I was working on developing anti-matter under laboratory conditions, but I couldn't find anything to keep it in.'

Metropolitan Art Center current exhibit: Father of the Finger-In-Your-Eye School of Modern Art.

'Now we'll have to explain it to the press. Remember - keep it superficial.'

Street painter puts real face on man with happy face.

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"