Expressionless Explorer Gifts

Even in a family photograph, the Doberman's remained expressionless, leaving the viewer unsure if they were happy, or about to attack.

Paul Klee

Support group therapy for male black widow spiders.

"Thanks for walking a mile in my shoe but it's beginning to hurt now."

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"Give me all the caffeine you have."

You've Had Enough!

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

'Nurse, why is there always a fly in my ointment?'

"It's great to see Biff; Socksie the cat is out of the bag..."

"It's an honest mistake I'm sure we'll never hear of again."

"I've decided to make myself another cup of coffee!"

"You sure you guys don't spike the coffee?"

"I won't be in today, I'm feeling a little under the coffee table."

"There's no way we can get him ow. He's completely under the covers."

The Elephant in the Womb

National Coffee Day

'You've had enough.'

"It turns out I just wasted the whole morning networking with a dog."

'You always talk about robbing Peter to pay Paul, but you never mention Mary.'

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

'Let's cut right through to the heart of the matter.'

"You scratch my back, I'll scratch your is just a figure of speech, Ned. A little left, and higher."

"My mom is a vegetarian, so she doesn't bring home the bacon. She brings home kale and quinoa."

"I can't solve for X. I have a fear of the unknown!"

Museum of Natural Cliches

'I was working on developing anti-matter under laboratory conditions, but I couldn't find anything to keep it in.'

'You're no Pollock.'

"Oh boy, by the way this guy is moving, we can assume he's got some of our friends in his pants..."

Metropolitan Art Center current exhibit: Father of the Finger-In-Your-Eye School of Modern Art.

"I don't like the tone of your voice. Mind if I tweak it a bit?"

"If you want my opinion you're damned if you do and damned if you don't."

'Now we'll have to explain it to the press. Remember - keep it superficial.'

Street painter puts real face on man with happy face.