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Theorbo

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

"... And his piano teacher says that he definitely has Van Gough's ear for music."

Greatest hits, Greatest Misses.

"Viola player coming through!"

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

Musical genres

Interpretive napping

'This cd is Earth and Wind. There is no fire, yet.'

'Well, we turned water into wine. Anyone remember how?'

'But why do you want to transmute asparagus into cotton?'

'I was working on developing anti-matter under laboratory conditions, but I couldn't find anything to keep it in.'

'Whenever I want to cut my lesson short, I ask the music teacher if she has any hip-hop music for the violin.'

"Tonight the part normally played by the audience will be played by actors playing the part of the audience."

'Cool!! Your Dad lets you take accordian lessons??!!'

'Now we'll have to explain it to the press. Remember - keep it superficial.'

"You want proof? There's your proof."

Chemistry Improv Theater

At the Goldilocks Music Store albums are labeled: 'Too Many Notes,' 'Too Few Notes,' 'Too loud,' 'Too Soft,' and 'Just Right.'

Boy asking girl if she is going to the pantomime

'I was 'Sweatin' To The Oldies', and I flipped over on my back!'

Another musical treatise from the 16th century is discovered.

"Whoa, whoa – for all I know you contaminated the sample."

Bass Clef

'Awesome!'

'Just because the alignment of the system wasn't maintained during rapid sample exchange, it's no threat to your manhood.'

'I understand there have been complaints that his sermons weren't getting through to the teenagers.'

'Everybody stand back! I'm an ethnomusicologist.'

'SSHHH, PIANOS. TWO GRANDS AND A BABY. ONE HAS THE LID UP AND THE OTHER ONE IS BARING ITS KEYS. BETTER GET THE CELLO.'

'Sea shell with earphones attached.'

'What kind of music would you like? Korean classical or Death Metal?'

"He's just discovered French Baroque organ music."

"Instead of careful interpretation of the prose, maybe try pronouncing even the most basic words like an insane person?"