Experimental Chefs Pillows

"Look, luv - I've made you a rhubarb pie!"

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

Before/After

Recipes from the Jean-Paul Sartre Cookbook

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Man's cooking explodes.

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

Ten out of ten for effort...

'Something new for Sunday lunch today - Corned-beef sandwiches!'

Acme Foods. Research and Development. Then it's an "no" on the Mexican Jumping Bean Dip?

"Then add one extra large egg..."

'No creamed peas for me today!'

Tzatzikicicle

The Inexperienced Cook

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

'Wait, wait, before you mix them, you have to say, 'Pow!'.'

Funky Chef 2

"You sure you don't want any Pi?"

"It's a recipe from the 'Anti-Christ' cookbook."

"We didn't have any whipped cream, so I used foaming hand soap."

But I followed the recipe exactly.

'Are you sure the recipe calls for a whole cup of good burgundy?'

Onion Guillotine

Spatula Conductor

Never use a cookbook written by a mystery book author. You never know how things will turn out!

Cooking with Wine: "Oops! Almost split some in the food."

"Honey, quick – the demi-glace is about to simmer – pass me a shot of Don Julio 1942 tequila!"

One reason secret family recipes are usually best kept secret.

'Continue gently simmering for ten minutes...'

Dinner Cereal, Corn Flakes with Spaghetti Sauce.

"Our chef specializes in atomic gastronomy."

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

Come on, honey. The neighborhood potlucks are fun. Fun?! Everyone brings something simple. Totally stress-free. Ha! Last year you made lemon-stuffed slow roasted sea bass with guacamole cilantro chutney. I won't do that again! Guacamole is over. Avocado grapefruit coulis will work.

'Uh yeah, it's supposed to be like that... it's a... it's a new invention.'