Expense Expert Pillows

'Sorry to trouble you , sir , but did you remember to sign my expenses ?'

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"Expense account or regular?"

'What wine goes with enormous expense account?.'

'Take a letter,'

'What did the fund manager say to the investment advisor?'

'I barely have time to flaunt my expense account.'

"Unfortunately as the law stands at the moment 13 pints and a curry because you had a crap day isn't tax deductible!"

'What wine goes with an enormous expense account?'

'I expect a little padding in the expense account, but yours is a kingsize mattress!'

"About your self employed expenses, do you do anything purely for pleasure?"

'How come you're questioning my petrol bill?'

'I want to give two weeks' notice that I'm quitting my job and two months' notice that I'm quitting my expense account.'

"What else can I claim on my expense account?"

"I hope you don't mind ordering the free bread and water. My expense account isn't what it used to be."

"Son, can you spare a couple of minutes to talk about your tuition?"

'The boys in accounting used to give me a hard time about ordering a $1,000 bottle of wine - until I invited them along.'

'Give me the bill, it's a business expense.'

'I hope I'm not embarrassing you when I say that I found your company's latest earnings report very sexy.'

"Step in here Kimble, I'd like a word with you about your expense account."

"Terrible. It's just terrible. He's the third accountant I've hired to calculate my per diem."

'I hope you don't mind ordering the free bread and water. My expense account isn't what it used to be.'

'This Investment Portfolio is an extravagant waste of money! Oh hold on... that's my expense account!'

'It was easy for me to lose weight! They took away my expense account!'

'If people are supposed to live within their means, why are there such things as overdrafts?'

'Drink up, Wilkins, this meal is 'on the firm'...'

Mom's Diner: You Can Afford the Price of Our Gas

"Dear, you can't blame everything on the high price of cable..."

Accounting makes a 300 million dollar error, yet they always nail me on my expense account.

"So tell me, did you install gold, silver or platinum water pipes?"

Fees office!

'I barely have time to flaunt my expense account.'

Sheila Fraser's To-Do List.