Expense Examiners Pillows

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

Lion Tamers School - Lion licking his lips examiner marking a fail

'Thank you for not guessing.'

'What wine goes with enormous expense account?.'

"Office of quality assurance"

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

Examiners.

'Sorry to trouble you , sir , but did you remember to sign my expenses ?'

"Smart Arse"

Lambs to the Slaughter

'The fact that the expenses process is complicated confusing and bureaucratic isn't an Aberration.'

'I knew it! Important Exclusion 347, 'Plummeting Pachyderms'. . .'

Playing doctor: 'This time I get to play the HMO bureaucrat who decides if you live or die.'

"'Single'? With this kind of income? Oh, have I got a dependant for you!"

"I thought SAT was 'Smart Alec Teacher'!"

'Hello, Doc Barnes? I just got your bill. You've just bought yourself a cow.'

"Well, certainly his claim seems justified , but if we paid off every justified claim what kind of insurance company would we be?"

'...no you can't phone a friend!'

"You know how I feel about sampling!"

"About your self employed expenses, do you do anything purely for pleasure?"

"Unfortunately as the law stands at the moment 13 pints and a curry because you had a crap day isn't tax deductible!"

'He's just failed my husband. Bring the examiner out here immediately!'

Examiners Nightmare.

'I expect a little padding in the expense account, but yours is a kingsize mattress!'

'How come you're questioning my petrol bill?'

'To prevent fraud, we like to verify whiplash injury claims!'

Just remember, don't claim for lunch unless I was with you.

Grading Guidelines.

'The boys in accounting used to give me a hard time about ordering a $1,000 bottle of wine - until I invited them along.'