Expense Economist Pillows

Open wide and say "AH @#." Bill.

Thrift: New way to eat eggs (avoid needless transport costs).

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

'What wine goes with enormous expense account?.'

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

'Take a letter,'

'Sorry to trouble you , sir , but did you remember to sign my expenses ?'

Bookkeeping Club

'If the best things in life are free, we have too many of the worst things.'

"About your self employed expenses, do you do anything purely for pleasure?"

"Unfortunately as the law stands at the moment 13 pints and a curry because you had a crap day isn't tax deductible!"

We all have our little problems, Alansky. Unfortunately, you're one of those who gets fired for them.

'What wine goes with an enormous expense account?'

'How come you're questioning my petrol bill?'

Just remember, don't claim for lunch unless I was with you.

"What else can I claim on my expense account?"

'The boys in accounting used to give me a hard time about ordering a $1,000 bottle of wine - until I invited them along.'

"Step in here Kimble, I'd like a word with you about your expense account."

'This Investment Portfolio is an extravagant waste of money! Oh hold on... that's my expense account!'

"I'm sorry but a fat, guzzling wife cannot be classed as a consumable."

'I hope you don't mind ordering the free bread and water. My expense account isn't what it used to be.'

'Thank you for you car expense claim . . .why are you wearing bicycle clips?'

'It was easy for me to lose weight! They took away my expense account!'

I'm goin got prescribe something that acts like a placebo but costs much, much more.

"Dear, you can't blame everything on the high price of cable..."

I tried to make ends meet but I'm a poor judge of distance. Due now. Bill. Bill. Due. Due now.

Accounting makes a 300 million dollar error, yet they always nail me on my expense account.

'Drink up, Wilkins, this meal is 'on the firm'...'

'If people are supposed to live within their means, why are there such things as overdrafts?'

'If my 401K gets any lower I'll end up owing someone money!'

"So tell me, did you install gold, silver or platinum water pipes?"

Sheila Fraser's To-Do List.

Fees office!

'I'm sure the cuts will be firm but fair.'