Everyday Expense Analyst Pillows

Gas: Taxpayers welcome! Spend your rebate here!

Is this your idea of a joke, Findlay...?

"Expense account or regular?"

'What wine goes with enormous expense account?.'

Rare Medical Conditions - The compulsive desire to work out restaurant bills correctly

'Take a letter,'

'Sorry to trouble you , sir , but did you remember to sign my expenses ?'

"Rumours of a crisis in the NHS are groundless...Spending is up by 2%, management ratios down by 62%..."

"Thanks Mum, but I prefer to use twitter to enlarge the microcosms of daily life."

'Hello, Doc Barnes? I just got your bill. You've just bought yourself a cow.'

'I barely have time to flaunt my expense account.'

"Unfortunately as the law stands at the moment 13 pints and a curry because you had a crap day isn't tax deductible!"

"About your self employed expenses, do you do anything purely for pleasure?"

'I expect a little padding in the expense account, but yours is a kingsize mattress!'

'What wine goes with an enormous expense account?'

'How come you're questioning my petrol bill?'

'The boys in accounting used to give me a hard time about ordering a $1,000 bottle of wine - until I invited them along.'

"What else can I claim on my expense account?"

"I hope you don't mind ordering the free bread and water. My expense account isn't what it used to be."

"Can I take out a loan for an ice cream cone?"

'I want to give two weeks' notice that I'm quitting my job and two months' notice that I'm quitting my expense account.'

'Give me the bill, it's a business expense.'

"Terrible. It's just terrible. He's the third accountant I've hired to calculate my per diem."

"Step in here Kimble, I'd like a word with you about your expense account."

'This Investment Portfolio is an extravagant waste of money! Oh hold on... that's my expense account!'

'I hope you don't mind ordering the free bread and water. My expense account isn't what it used to be.'

'It was easy for me to lose weight! They took away my expense account!'

'Drink up, Wilkins, this meal is 'on the firm'...'

'If people are supposed to live within their means, why are there such things as overdrafts?'

'Finally have an expense account and I'm always on a diet.'

"So tell me, did you install gold, silver or platinum water pipes?"

Fees office!

Credit Cards Shredded.