Expense Esplanade Engineer Gifts

"Just remember, don't claim for lunch unless I was with you."

Man needs to buy excuse for missing work from vending machine.

"Your top 10 list of reasons why you didn't do your homework is creative, but not acceptable."

'Can I hand in my report tomorrow. Ms. D'Amato? I haven't finished reading the book. I've been too busy coloring it.'

'Take a letter,'

Bookkeeping Club

"This data shows us that we are going up to a new level."

'YOU try telling him!'

Sheep Escalator

'The homework ate my dog.'

STRIP "Looks like the escalators on the blink again"

'What's Iggy doing home from school at this time of day?'

'My expense account isn't what it used to be. So for lunch I'm taking you fishing, and we'll eat what we catch.'

"And then he said he wanted $50,000 for it."

"A scientific approach to generating excuses"

"We didn't have these cushy escalators when I was a calf. No siree. We had to jump. And I still have the scars to prove it. Wanna see 'em?"

'It was your choice to escalate this argument...not mine!'

On sale at the Enbridge gift shop.

Beginner Level Escalators

"It all began with trying to measure project outcomes."

Sewage Farm, "Bloody Hell, Crap Circles."

'My son wants to become an elevator engineer.'

"It's stuck in overdrive. What should I do?"

'The brakes aren't working because of 'mechanical fatigue'...The escalator isn't working because of 'mechanical fatigue'...why don't you walk up?'

'Our fare hike will leave service at the same level, just like guess what?'

"Oh wait, we need to be on the 1-9 North bound escalator to get to the food court."

Inconsiderate cleaner.

Nice work, Fred, but this isn't a job for the Plausible Excuse Department. We've called in the big guns from our Watertight Alibi Division.

"What do you mean, I'm always lounging here doing nothing? I'm hoping!"

Favoured angels were given a special pass for the 'Lift to Heaven'

"O.K., one at a time, step forward and say, 'That's it, lady - you've blocked your last escalator.' "

Mall Talk

Construction worker with stop signs.

'It's all set. Now help me catch my sister.'

Roller coaster company with sales chart shaped like a roller coaster.