Expense Conqueror Gifts

'If the best things in life are free, we have too many of the worst things.'

Rage.

Homo Gamus

Gamers

'These new video games are getting out of hand...'

"My client greatly regrets the incident with the carving knife. However, in her defense, 14 people were coming for Thanksgiving and her husband, who had just one job to do, bought only 8 rolls."

'He struggles with having to do his own marketing.'

IRS tax instructions.

"No, Dad. All this belongs to me right now. I acquired it in a hostile takeover."

Bookkeeping Club

"...and how often do you feel monkas?"

"Graduates, faculty, parents, creditors..."

Star Executive

Man in office fencing with pieces of paper flying about

Neverending Task.

'My life is around here somewhere.'

'You must adopt a healthy lifestyle to work here because you'll have to sweat a lot of blood.'

Falling profits.

In the red

"I came, I saw I takeovered."

'Considering my student debt, I felt it prudent to specialize in bankruptcy law,'

"You can see him now. His meds just kicked in."

'Maybe framed copies of your mortgage, auto loan, and tuition loans are too much of a motivator. Maybe you need a financial planner.'

Health warning - This job will lead you to drink.

"Sealed for your diets protection."

'I'm fully organized. Now I can freak out in some kind of order!'

Computer Gamers.

'What wine goes with an enormous expense account?'

'Going back to work now that the kids are grown is one thing, Martha. Mounting a hostile takeover bid of my company is another!'

"...and although the tortoise was severely speed-challenged, he achieved his sales quota through a strict goal-specific program."

Man about to pay his hospital bill notices a team of doctors and nurses waiting to resuscitate him.

'I'm not leaving till he leaves.'

Big City Bank Loan manager

"We have two offices throughout the world."

"It could be a false negative Maybe I should take the test again."