Existential Epicure T-Shirts

The Origins of Everything

The wonderful world of cheese.

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

To do before Saturday...

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Wendy likes horses...and she is a keen cook.

Dreams I have had...

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

"Don't hold back on the toad legs now - I'm through with Nouvelle Cuisine!"

'Leeks can disappoint you and garlic will break your heart, but only onions make you cry.'

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

"It's the Chef Surprise."

" . . . and white, not yellow. Block, not shredded. Aged, but not too aged that it doesn't slice well."

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

"May we see something from local hydroponically grown grapes aged in casks made from non-endangered trees?"

"Since I proved in my last lecture that none of us really exist...I'm going to change this to a cooking class!"

A single man can be seen through the front window of the "ME Only Restaurant".

"Well, I don't care if it is some kind of fancy-schmancy restaurant...if I want ketchup, I'm gonna get ketchup!"

"The book, How to Serve Man! It's. . . It's a cook book, filled with recipes that use MSG and transfats!"

'My doctor said I'm digging my own grave with a spoon and fork. It'll take longer if I use only a fork.'

"Putting a steak, chicken wings and potato chips on a salad kind of negates the eating healthy concept."

'Now, if you can get them when they're still in the clamshell, their adrenalin is way higher which enhances the taste. In fact, here comes one right now!'

"Best served at street temperature, delicious served with dustbin chipsor gutter squashed, half eaten kebab..."

"I'm still an atheist."

"Excuse me for a moment. I have to go and refinance this dinner bill."

Treat at the Colinderies.

God rolls dice

"I can't hurry when ordering. There's a lot of ecological geopolitics involved here."