Enchantment Epicure T-Shirts

"Don't hold back on the toad legs now - I'm through with Nouvelle Cuisine!"

Counting ribs

The wonderful world of cheese.

Late BroomStick

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

To do before Saturday...

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

The Origins of Everything

'The cutbacks begin to affect wizards.'

Sleeping Beauty

"May I recommend our Seared Filet with Lobster Cream Sauce? It's very photogenic."

'She's still a novice yet.'

"You may not know this, but I've become quite the wine expert."

"It's the Chef Surprise."

'Leeks can disappoint you and garlic will break your heart, but only onions make you cry.'

'..and one for the pot.'

Waiter: 'Your Tossed salad Ma'am.'

'Frank, it's water.'

"It's the witching hour somewhere."

'If that is a toenail, it is a French toenail.'

"I ain't particular, but are you sure a '71 claret is the right choice for these here beans?"

"It's a loaner until mine is back from the shop."

"Well, I don't care if it is some kind of fancy-schmancy restaurant...if I want ketchup, I'm gonna get ketchup!"

Survival of the Foodiest

"Putting a steak, chicken wings and potato chips on a salad kind of negates the eating healthy concept."

Nick's Greek Restaurant: Special - Nick's own translation of the Odyssey

'I'll leave it entirely to you...as long as it's a red...for exactly $20...from Napa...made from Merlot...2006 vintage...'

"We're just different. I think better outside the box."

'Does this restaurant allow substitutions?'

"Why is it you always head back to the well?" "Making a wish always makes me feel swell!"

"Best served at street temperature, delicious served with dustbin chipsor gutter squashed, half eaten kebab..."

"Excuse me for a moment. I have to go and refinance this dinner bill."

"I don't know about your oil, but the goulash you're cooking in your crankcase looks done."

Family 'Bored' Games

"I'm so hungry , I could eat a man." Alison's appetite was legendary.