Existential Comedian T-Shirts

"You watch, therefore I am."

"Some say the world will end in noodles, some say in rice."

"I'd like to go back and change my shirt."

'I had a Near-Death experience and all I got was this T-shirt.'

"Does it really matter if her cloud is whiter than ours, Adriana?"

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"Some mid-life crisis that turned out to be."

'The stage hypnotist was great, he regressed Jeff to a previous life, and discovered that he was a layabout then, too.'

"I've come to stage in my life-cycle where just landing on stuff isn't good enough anymore."

'I believe there's an unseen hand behind everything we do.'

Welcome to ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? Theatre

Lab studies suggest that a human growth pill is just around the corner.

"So, tell me what happened after this Schrodinger put you in this box..."

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

"If, indeed, there is a reason for all this, than that's so much worse."

If a tree falls on a philosopher in the woods, and no one is there to hear his screams for help, did he really make a sound?

"I've done a lot of soul searching, and I've come to the conclusion that I should be thinking less about money and more about naked women."

"I'm sorry, Mister Mulligan is dead. . . would you care to wait?"

"Yes, but can your philosophical speculations on existence also be relative to why I crossed the road?"

"I thought the snow would never start"

Monet At Open Mic Night

'We are the last Dodos on the planet, so I've put all of our eggs safely into this basket...'

'Existential truckstop'

"Do you think he'll bring treats?"

'But, there must be some mistake. I don't want to buy the school.'

Reptilian trauma.

Tombstone that says I Have No Life

'Of course, in the long term we'll all be extinct.'

'Death in the 'life' section of library'

Ye Olde FIgure-Drawing Classe

Enter Exit - Circle of Life.

Is there life after digestion?

"Here I am, Mother, gainfully and meaningfully employed, and all you can do is criticize."

"Hurry up! - You don't have all day. . ."

'Sorry -- that's not on our list of approved churches.'