Exclusive Memberships T-Shirts

"Hole In The Wall" (members only.) ? ?

Good news, I can make you a member of our waiting list!

La Table

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Sir, you're not on the list - we've checked it twice."

James's Mayfair Gym - Punting Machine.

Man sleeping with newspaper at gentlemen's club

"...We don't trust any restaurant that has room for us."

Bud's Club...Where Buds, Bubs and Bros gather!

'Actually, we're members of a mountain climbing club named for sir Edmund Hillary.'

"I've always admired you. I find your complete lack of compassion refreshing."

Members only.

This club is for members only

I shall now unveil my first great experiment in exploitative capitalism. Oh joy. Institute for Capitalist Exploitation. Beneath this sheet is an extraordinary creation. I give you … The new cafe exclusive VIP premier executive best customer reward card. Available to anyone who pays $9.95 a month for membership. Fine print: Includes no benefits.

My latest invention is genius. It's an affinity card for our best customers. That's not a new idea. Airlines, rental car agencies, hotels … They all have loyalty programs where you can earn discounts and special treatment. Spare me. Ours has a way better name: The Cafe Exclusive VIP Premier Executive Best Customer Reward Program. And we don't trouble customers with confusing discounts and benefits. All hail the VIP premier cheapskate.

"You. You. And you."

'Sorry, this is the Billionaires club. The Millionaires club is down the street.'

Posh store has sign: When Flaunting Is Not Enough.

Dinosaur Extinction, If your name's not down...

"Do you have a reservation?"

Millionaires club: "The bad news is, this recession has forced us to recruit lottery winners!"

"It costs how much to join?"

"This is a private club. Are you a Mamba ?"

'Hey! This club is for members only!'

'Husbands in waiting' - The Ladies' Circle

Club Heaven.

Hi, loyal customer, How'd you like a chance to join our exclusive VIP Premier Executive Best Customer Reward Program? Me? That's right. We want to reward your loyalty. So we'll let you join for just $9.95 a month. Wow. This is my first time to the cafe. But since you got here you haven't gone to another cafe.

"Welcome to the club. Not my club, mind you - you couldn't afford that."

Garrick club. Men's men only.

"Mr. Lee's Chinese Palace, one of the city's best-kept secrets."

Club Sketches - Cause and Effect.

"Tia Carmen, can I join your Wise Latina League?"

"Now you tell me I'm the only member?"

"I often mistake a twenty pound note for a membership card."

Thank you for waiting. At this time, we'd like to invite our platinum-status members to begin the rapture process.