Exam Invigilator Gifts

"I'm thinking that now is a good time to start those tutoring sessions."

"How can a student who can't speak English or Gobbledegook expect to pass?"

4 Great Ways to Fail

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Four Types of Test-Takers...

'I'm sorry son, parents don't like the 11 plus...'

Secretive Weigh In.

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

Annual Mensa Convention: 'Ok, who's the genius who forgot to send out the invitations?'

'But I did study. I guess the software didn't install successfully.'

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

'According to this, you ate all the pies.'

Graph to find your IQ

Army Leader: 'We have ways of making you Torque.'

International Monetary Conference in Paris- Silver Currency an Unsound Footing

'I'm just saying... Maybe we're over doing the old 'good cop, bad cop' routine.'

"Last chance, or Max here has ways of making you talk."

"We'll get what we need from you. Guaranteed!" "Officer Madoff, the best stool softener on the force."

School boy uses 'Sats Nav' to navigate his way to exam room.

'We can't determine if you're telling the truth, but you should have a doctor check your pressure.'

Roger couldn't understand why his diet wasn't working.

"I can only give you name rank and the number of my agent..."

"Above all do not open your sealed test booklets until you are told to do so!"

"This article says that a good investment consultant can smell money like a dog smells fear..."

"I'm sorry, but he only has 75 years to live!"

"The position on offer comes with a seven figure income. ?12,469.37."

Good Cop/Hollywood Cop: "Confess or my partner will make you read his screenplay."

"Ok, tough guy, let's see if you can take the unbearable tickle of your runny nose with the facial tissues just out of reach."

"And if you did, why did you cross the road?"

"What do you mean 'superior intelligence'? Who was the first to conquer space travel?"

"This is wonderful - a completely dust-free lab. What do you study here?"

Talk or you'll be forced to watch bad TV commercials!

'Don't worry boss...he will talk...we told him the fish was a piranha.'