Exam Invigilator T-Shirts

"I'm thinking that now is a good time to start those tutoring sessions."

"How can a student who can't speak English or Gobbledegook expect to pass?"

4 Great Ways to Fail

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

Four Types of Test-Takers...

Secretive Weigh In.

'I'm sorry son, parents don't like the 11 plus...'

OK! I promise that the questions will be easy!

Trivia Night in Apartment 8-G

'So, in room 1 we sweat them. 2 is for grilling, 3 is for roasting. We leave them to simmer in room 4...'

Annual Mensa Convention: 'Ok, who's the genius who forgot to send out the invitations?'

'But I did study. I guess the software didn't install successfully.'

'According to this, you ate all the pies.'

Graph to find your IQ

Army Leader: 'We have ways of making you Torque.'

International Monetary Conference in Paris- Silver Currency an Unsound Footing

'I'm just saying... Maybe we're over doing the old 'good cop, bad cop' routine.'

'Don't try to deny it, Jehovah - we've got witnesses.'

"Last chance, or Max here has ways of making you talk."

Pharmacy School. We're having a pop quiz. I should have known there'd be surprise drug tests in pharmacy school.

"We'll get what we need from you. Guaranteed!" "Officer Madoff, the best stool softener on the force."

School boy uses 'Sats Nav' to navigate his way to exam room.

'We can't determine if you're telling the truth, but you should have a doctor check your pressure.'

Roger couldn't understand why his diet wasn't working.

'The good news is that you don't have any long-term memory loss. The bad news is it's all MIDTERM memory loss.'

"I can only give you name rank and the number of my agent..."

'Walter, I warned you about all that angel hair pasta and pie in the sky.'

"Above all do not open your sealed test booklets until you are told to do so!"

"This article says that a good investment consultant can smell money like a dog smells fear..."

"I'm sorry, but he only has 75 years to live!"

"And if you did, why did you cross the road?"

"This is wonderful - a completely dust-free lab. What do you study here?"

"Ok, tough guy, let's see if you can take the unbearable tickle of your runny nose with the facial tissues just out of reach."

"The position on offer comes with a seven figure income. ?12,469.37."

'Don't worry boss...he will talk...we told him the fish was a piranha.'