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GCSE Geography by telephone

"Above all do not open your sealed test booklets until you are told to do so!"

'Good girl, Carol - now hands up all those who have lost their pens.'

'I really crammed last night.'

Four Types of Test-Takers...

'I got an alleged C on my criminal law test.'

"O.K., time's up. Pencils down."

"It's not fair! I only got 100 on my English test!"

'In Show and Tell today, I showed my birthmark! I got expelled!'

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

"I'm sorry. I don't have yours. My dog ate your homework."

'The good teen-age mime chooses to study for an exam, while the bad one chooses to steal hubcaps.'

"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

Admissions test for the Danbury Institute of Philosophy

'You're flunking me? -- What about the statute of limitations?'

'Do years 4, 5 and 6 cover the other foot?'

"This is the fourth student who bubbled in Y-O-U-R N-A-M-E when I told the class to 'bubble in your name'!"

Paper to boy: 'Did you forget something? I'm your take home test.'

"I think the teacher who says that I got into trouble today is part of the fake news conspiracy."

"We thought this was more realistic."

Spring To Do List: Teach, Testing, Testing,Test Some More. . .

"The principal has sat in on so many of my classes, I'm thinking of giving him the exam."

'I don't think much to faith school dinners.'

'And in conclusion.'

'Child labor laws don't apply to homework, Jimmy.'

'The dog won't eat my homework.'

'Does it matter what answer I put down? After all, this is Liberal Arts.'

'Physical or Social Science?'

'Spelling, math, history, geography --now the stupid school wants me to take a polygraph test!'

"Yes, next year you'll be moving from classroom to classrooms, and, no, it doesn't count as PE."

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

"I'm subcontracting math, spelling and geography to my smart phone."

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."