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"Should we put down what we think is right, or what we think you think is right?"

'I really crammed last night.'

'You have to STUDY for tests, dummy -- you can't just put a memory stick in your ear!'

Four Types of Test-Takers...

'I would've studied for that test, but I thought it would be a piece of cake.'

Waiting for the results.

"Test has such a negative connotation. I prefer to call them character building opportunities."

'I'll need the S.A.T.'s, G.E.D.'s and A.C.T.'s, ASAP...'

"After careful consideration I've decided the answer is correct... but you'll have to change the question."

"Half my students have Post Assessment Stress Disorder."

'Psssst! What font are you using?'

'Rorschach multiple-choice test'

'Does it matter what answer I put down? After all, this is Liberal Arts.'

'Just for future reference: telling a stressed-out college student we want to run a few tests might not be the wisest course of action.'

'Welcome to Edexcel enter through the door on right.'

"It's not fair! I only got 100 on my English test!"

'You used too much latitude in your longitude answers.'

'I got an alleged C on my criminal law test.'

"Tests! That's one thing I don't like about the end of school. I can't believe it! You're not finished studying, either?"

'I'm choosing economics Sir. If the government keeps getting fiscal policy wrong, obviously the examiners can't expect a correct answer at 'A' level from me!'

'Exams were harder before the Renaissance.'

'Not bad for a Washington outsider.'

"Will we be tested on any of this?"

"I thought SAT was 'Smart Alec Teacher'!"

'The history test was a piece of cake. Although I did expect the questions to come on a sheet of paper or something.'

"Dude, I've never seen you so happy about a 'B' before."

"How far are you from the correct answer, Baldo?"

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

"I gave 110% on the last quiz, so don't expect the same results now that I'm working at a deficit."

"So this is it...the first day of the new school year. I guess studying, tests and report cards are still the hot things around here."

"The school is worried about Billy! They asked him what gives life meaning and he asked if they could make it a multiple choice question."

"Not that any of YOU care, but I was up until 2:00 a.m. preparing today's exam on the Martyr Complex."

"How was your test?"

"We thought this was more realistic."

I brought two #1 pencils.