Evolution Explorers Gifts

Evolve at your own risk

The Evolution Of Man.

"This crawling on land, just fashion, it won't last"

'Just think about it. . . Australia is home to over 800,000 unique species, but you're still, by far, the absolute lamest.'

Completing the Beast

Children's Television Character Genealogy Service. Yes, Big Bird, it goes back several million years, but you are related to Barney the Dinosaur!

It's called "bipedalism" --- I got the idea from a bird!

'The trouble with being so primitive is that you have to say EVERYTHING in twenty-five words or less.'

'Wait! -- Why don't we just have a BEER bash?'

'Looks almost humanoid.'

'Of course it's renewable -- you just throw more sticks on it!'

'Just between you and me, I'm descended from very small dinosaurs.'

'But, how can we be sure he's not endangered?'

"Yeah, apparently my parents didn't strive hard enough for those upper canopy leaves."

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'Intelligent Design? My arse!'

'Some of those youngsters have come up with a terrific new idea - feathers.'

'Take it from me and come back. The future is definitely on land.'

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

Figures from 'Ascent of Man' diagram all do the Conga: 'Let's all fo the Conga, na-na-na-na ...'

"We just haven't been flapping them hard enough."

Ascent of Machine.

'Well, Tommy, you've grown a foot since the last time I saw you!'

'It's really more of a family forest than a family tree.'

'Hey weirdo, where do you think you're going?'

'Sure, go ahead! Evolve! It's all the rage, I know! Have fun! I'll just sit here in this murky, primordial soup with nothing but plankton for company. Why should you stay here with your mother? The one who raised you, fed you...'

Evolution Exam Results.

'Oh, so now the ocean isn't GOOD enough for you?'

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"This is Blackjack, come in Yahtzee."

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

'If, as you say, they're so evolved, why do they need to wear clothes to survive?'

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

"I think we may be related!"

"They're so like us."