Evening Show Enthusiast T-Shirts

Unable to get going each day without her dose of Katie Couric, Lois shifted her schedule to be in sync with the star's new evening news job.

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

'I'd explain how the TV, VCR, DVD, surround sound home entertainment system works...but I don't know.'

Benihana style of cooking.

Job Vacancy: Human cannonball. Applicants must of the right calibre

'Come quick: Rin Tin Tin is on TV again...'

"Swiping won't cut it sonny-boy, you have to physically walk to the next painting."

"Spoiler alert! I'm about to tell you the part that really bugged me about 'Wolverine.'" "You don't have to say 'spoiler alert,' minion. It's been a month." "Anyone who hasn't seen it yet has not fulfilled their role as a dutiful consumer, and deserves whatever spoilage they will receive." "In fact, let me know who they are and I'll enter them into my database. When the corporatist revolution comes, there will be consequences." "Um... never mind."

'Would you like you steak WITH or WITHOUT a capella?'

Showing off the good china 3-7 pm.

"We can stop entertaining ourselves now, Ian."

"I've had these glasses since I was a kid, when my doctor told me I'd grow into them..."

'Looks like everyone has FINALLY gone home.'

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

Maps to the homes of guys with friends who know some of the limo drivers of the personal trainers of the stars.

Starvation Watching

John Barth wrote "Everyone is necessarily the hero of his own life story." That he did, little buddy. But what if a person spends most of his life watching tv, films, Youtube, Instagram, Facebook, etc? What if my -- I mean, this person's -- life story is watching other people's life stories? Does that make other people the hero of this person's story? Sometimes I don't know where I end and Kanye begins. That'd be somewhere around Kim Kardashian.

How I met your mother

Bedtime story.

'It's nice, but I wish we could get more than one channel.'

Frank's bar & grill & jukebox & pool table & chairs & bathroom & mechanical bull & tables & karaoke machine & drinking fountain & lamps & fire extinguisher & doors & floors...

'Yeah, my phone folds out into a TV tray.'

"Lets watch a martial arts movie."

"I'm so looking forward to the weekend, there's a show on: We're going to be pampered and they'll put lovely ribbons in our manes..."

"We can deliver it Tuesday. If no one's home, we'll just slip it under the door."

'What do you MEAN this IS the show?!! Let me see the tickets!'

NBS Programming Department. Who have we got to interview Michael Jackson? We've got it narrowed down to Stephen King or Leonard Nimoy.

'Why do you always have to make a spectacle of yourself.'

'Crikey, you've got to have good eye-sight to look through those glasses, haven't you?'

"As I recall, Leonard, when we first watched 'The Honeymooners' you said that it marked the decline and fall of Western culture."

"I much prefer the evening milking to the morning one: The farmer is not a "morning person", now is he?"

"I LOVE this business! Just when you think you've discovered our culture's lowest common denominator, along comes a crazy genius like you to show us how wrong our math was!"

More Arts Council cuts...

"In this business the ball takes funny bounces. I got you a recording contract."

"It's only insomnia if there's nothing good on."