Evangelizing Pillows

"Why do I bother to evangelize online when no one listens?"

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

THE ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI SHOW.

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

"Well, can we leave some of our literature with you?"

"No thank you - The people who live here, worship me. . !!"

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

"Repent! The Venga bus is coming!"

Cherub on a cloud

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

"Hear me, for the Lord has given me an exclusive."

"I meant 'go and make disciples' after the sermon, Bob."

Will work for manure.

"It was a gift from god."

Money or no money, root of all evil?

"Actually, he's not all that big, but he's really ripped."

Holier Than Thou

"Have you ever thought about becoming a duck?"

Devils in hell bang on the ceiling as the angels upstairs are being too noisy.

'My sermon's written except for the lead-ins to the commercials where I remind them they're all going straight to hell!'

"Could we talk Girl Scout cookies?"

Motorcycle Faith Healer

"Just because the preacher is from Alabama doesn't mean he's speaking in tongues."

New Seekers, New Danger, "I'd like to teach the world to sing..."

"We're raising money for our church so our preacher can get a new luxury jet...!"

'I didn't expect to be reincarnated as a bloody angel!'

"I expected the mission field to be a little more modern."