Evangelizing Pillows

"Why do I bother to evangelize online when no one listens?"

"Trust me Jesus, if you want to make a bigger impact work on being seeker friendly."

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

When Holy Cows Are Sent Out To 'Pastor'.

THE ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI SHOW.

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

Guitars in Heaven

"Repent! The Venga bus is coming!"

Cherub on a cloud

"Well, can we leave some of our literature with you?"

The evangelist turned lawyer's opening arguments were unconvincing

"No thank you - The people who live here, worship me. . !!"

'Now that's what I call a religious broadcast.'

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

"I meant 'go and make disciples' after the sermon, Bob."

"Hear me, for the Lord has given me an exclusive."

Will work for manure.

"It was a gift from god."

"Actually, he's not all that big, but he's really ripped."

Money or no money, root of all evil?

"Before I share the meaning of life with Dave, let's take some calls from our viewers around the world."

"Have you ever thought about becoming a duck?"

Holier Than Thou

'Flying is fine. Harping is fine. Flying while harping is not fine.'

'My sermon's written except for the lead-ins to the commercials where I remind them they're all going straight to hell!'

Devils in hell bang on the ceiling as the angels upstairs are being too noisy.

Placed by the Gideons

"J is the reason for the season."

"Could we talk Girl Scout cookies?"

Motorcycle Faith Healer

"Just because the preacher is from Alabama doesn't mean he's speaking in tongues."

New Seekers, New Danger, "I'd like to teach the world to sing..."

"We're raising money for our church so our preacher can get a new luxury jet...!"

Religious marketing, televangelist jumping out of hte TV

"I expected the mission field to be a little more modern."