Televangelism Aficionado Pillows

"A fantastic evangelist was on TV, and I sent him everything."

'I wasted half my life perched on top of a mountain in the Himalayas. Only to discover that the true meaning of life was a night in watching the box, with a few cans of lager.'

The city of San Francisco switches from cable cars to satellite dish at a cost of only $79.99 a month for the first six months.

"I know! Two years without anymore Game Of Thrones?"

'Our regular programs will not be seen tonight, because our Station Manager is in a 'Three Stooges' mood.'

Nun Fight.

'Have you seen me?' (Brain missing in TV viewer)

A bunch of baseball players sitting on a baseball diamond watching TV.

"I now pronounce you man and couch."

"I see you're an ex televangelist who would like to stay in sales."

Captive Audience at the World Cup.

"In other news a new study indicates dogs are still better than cats."

We interrupt this program to bring you, Tommy, a message from you teacher. Have you finished your report on frogs?

Lady throws dart to decide which soap opera she's going to watch.

"And the Lord said, 'You know, it takes a ton of money to run a place like this.'"

Stephen Fry

"There's nothing on worth watching and we've been watching for three hours."

...and now for the news in briefs...

THE ST. FRANCIS OF ASSISI SHOW.

"Baldo, do you have a summer reading list?"

"The end of 'Shark Week' is near!"

Pope Benedict 16th.

"You're right! It is a mezuzah!"

Credulity, Superstition and Fanaticism.

They're missing a few commandments.

Brighter days are ahead. I love it when I hear that in both news and weather segments of the program.

"I know I say it in every episode, Carson, but the world is changing and we have to change with it."

"I think it was one Christmas TV advert too many."

Man is attacked by sea creature.

Watching telly

Unable to get going each day without her dose of Katie Couric, Lois shifted her schedule to be in sync with the star's new evening news job.

"Oh, it's just a corny old bee movie."

'What would you say if I told you there's a way to fit all of that on just one tablet?'

'Our next guest is an economist who is the author of the first economic theory that proves that money makes the world go round.'

"Hold up - I have to read the legal disclaimer."