European Explorer T-Shirts

Visitor points out Tower of Pisa is leaning. Official replies, 'I think that's always how it's been'.

Travel Scenes

Europe on $5000 a day.

'Tuscany, Tuscany, Tuscany...'

Europe

Boris promises to pursue a Brexit deal with OOMPH!

Gondolier

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

"I was young and cocky because I wasn't aware of my shortcomings. Now I'm old and cocky because I can't remember what they are."

The Euro-Trash Trashcan

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

Big Shot/Bigger Shot.

William Shakespeare

"Tell me what you think of the menu. I wrote it."

A man looking into a mirror saying "HA!"; his reflection looking back at him from the mirror is saying "!AH".

Eurobonds Explained.

"Hail, Caesar! The barbarians have been beaten back, and Rome is still Numero Uno."

'You certainly lived a remarkable life. Any chance you'll get over yourself?'

Narcissist in the tunnel of love.

"I'm going to run away and join the circus. Not one of those big, tacky ones—something more European and intimate."

'We go to Italy in the summer - it's like a home from home for the kids!'

As soon as I've extinguished my ego, I'm going to take some "me" time.

Travel Agency: Pacific time cures all ills.

Feedback should be sought for genuine reasons, not because you want compliments. . .

An Appreciation

"Frankly, I just want to talk about how great I am non-stop and uninterrupted for 50 minutes every week on a long term basis."

"Just in case you want to invest, I've got a great idea for a dot.com startup."

"I read an unforgettable book! Unfortunately, I don't remember the title and the author..."

'I'm a narcissist? - Are you saying I'm not perfect?'

'So, when did you first realise that you fancied me rotten?'

Tell me the truth. Do you think my signature is logo-esque?

As Seen On TV

"I knew it!"

"I think I deserve more than a stub on Wikipedia."

"Leibniz, Boole and Gödel worked with logic. I work with logic. I am Leibniz, Boole and Gödel."