Eu Staff Gifts

Mario Draghi

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

Multi-tasking.

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'These are job perks.'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

Busy office.

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

'Need I remind you who's boss here?'

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

The Greek Trampoline

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

The role of administration.

Brainstorm in progress.

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

Sales.

Targets.

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

Academic Jeopardy - "The great unknowns and cosmic uncertainties of the universe are reduced by this number daily."

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."

'Look Jefferson, much as I respect your emphasis of the informal approach...'

'It was at this point that the executive group began its hatha flow retreats.'

'Brains...brains...brains...'