Eu Staff Gifts

Mario Draghi

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

Academic Idol - 'Professor Johannsen's paper was zippy. It had robust vocabulary and I almost felt that I could dance to it. I would give it a 7.'

Multi-tasking.

'These are job perks.'

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

Busy office.

'Need I remind you who's boss here?'

The Greek Trampoline

'I'd give you a raise, but I had to throw tantrums to make my parents give me anything as a kid.'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

"Political Science... that's in the Department of Performing Arts."

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

The role of administration.

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

Brainstorm in progress.

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

Targets.

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

'It was at this point that the executive group began its hatha flow retreats.'

Academic Jeopardy - "The great unknowns and cosmic uncertainties of the universe are reduced by this number daily."

Sales.

'Brains...brains...brains...'

'Look Jefferson, much as I respect your emphasis of the informal approach...'

"A simple note from your mother would have sufficed, Tommy."