Ethnic Food Gifts

Frank and Ernie's Greek Cafe. Menu. I'd like a gyro with everything. One encyclopita!

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

'Do you want your zebra de la margola rare, medium or well done?'

"I know it’s a challenge, but it needs your input!" "...Your breadth of knowledge of different interest groups, religions...cultures!" "Right, so the staff Christmas meal will be a traditional lacto-vegan one at a Thai restaurant sometime in March?" "Do you think the Pagans will be OK with that?"

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

"All good things must come to an end...unless I use both of my giant-size super-pots."

'I would kill for a truffle.'

Culture clash

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

'Are you sure you don't have any Indian blood?.'

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

In the Works: Eurocheese, Eurobread, Eurowine.

'I think we should eat out in the hotel tomorrow dear.'

Hoax Ethnic Food

'Head cheese? Swedish sausage? Limberger cheese? . . . Try Albania!'

'Exactly what is wrong with the pie? I'll have you know I paid a lot of money for that bush meat at the corner shop.'

The Great Dietary Pyramids of Egypt.

Russian Cuisine. Do you still have borscht? Yes, the beet goes on.

'There's a new push to improve the quality of food available...here's the takeovut menus for Ling's Chinese and the Indian in the High St!'

'I eat them myself, and I can assure you that beetles are even better than ants.'

'I just loved you Potatoes O' Squanto!'

'It's the law of the puszta, son. Them tripping on a banana skin, that's funny. Us tripping on a banana skin, that's a conspiracy!'

"Hmmm, mountain oysters! Nutty flavor, with a hint of mutton!"

'Do you do the squished up little balls that taste of fish - or are you the wrong ethnicity?'

"I resolve to cook more traditional meals like my lengua casserole and pig's feet stew!"

'Tch! We're not eating Mexican again, are we?' 'Well, I'd look pretty silly going into an Italian restaurant dressed like this.'

"Sales are plummeting. Shall I get out my fiddle and play you some of that sad, sad puszta music?"

"Oh no! Not Polynesian again!"

'A bird's nest. . . hmmm, I wonder what that would taste like in a soup?'

'Oh, quit blubbering about not finding any quality walrus fat in the city!'

"You call this guacamole?"

'Our cuisine has moved from the eclectic to the schizophrenic.'

"...and if you can't get gochujang, ketchup will do."