Cultural Foods Gifts

"Tia Carmen? Is there anything else to eat?"

"Oh man, these contestants on 'Survivor' have to eat cow brains!"

Night of the Latkes

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

Craft Donuts vs. Craft Beer

And then in Italy. . . "But I really don't like bubblegum gelato."

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

"When I was young, we personally prepared all the food for each and every meal!"

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

"I know it’s a challenge, but it needs your input!" "...Your breadth of knowledge of different interest groups, religions...cultures!" "Right, so the staff Christmas meal will be a traditional lacto-vegan one at a Thai restaurant sometime in March?" "Do you think the Pagans will be OK with that?"

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

Meticulously prepared, locally sourced food served on artifacts of a romanticized industrial past, by people who take their fashion cues from daguerreotypes, to adults whose parents still pay their rent.

'Our chickens are a real 'come back' story: raised organic, they hooked up with some seedy fowl, but then, thankfully, were saved by massive doses of antibiotics.'

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

"Put out the Asian sates, the Russian blinis, and the Mexican bean dips, while whip up something Korean."

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

"Is it free-range?"

'Are you sure you don't have any Indian blood?.'

"All good things must come to an end...unless I use both of my giant-size super-pots."

"I just explained 'kugel' to him."

'Where do you want to go for breakfast, fancy an Australian or do you want to nip over to Hawaii?'

Lottery - come back to eat here 20 times and you will win million dollar in lottery.

Culture clash

"Your old Jewish mother with some pickled herring, sir. To remind you of your roots,"

'Snob, he won't eat domestic slugs, just imports.'

"We call it 'dish' of the day, but it's actually served on a plank of wood."

'Your tomato ketchup is on it's way, Sir...'

"I'm going to ask for a fork. Don't try to stop me."

Chick in noodle soup.

"Hey, Gary. Lois wanted to know if you’re up for waiting forever for reheated leftovers and sipping warm mimosas intended to ease the pain of poor service amid a cacophony of idiot tourists and 20-year-olds... you know, brunch."

"It's okay. That's just adult-speak for hot dogs."

In the Works: Eurocheese, Eurobread, Eurowine.

'We're at an Italian restaurant this time, Kevin -- those are breadsticks, not giant-size chopsticks.'