Eternal Bond Believer Gifts

"I'm getting so old my dead friends are going to wonder where I am."

A crowd of happy pet owners.

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Our bond is stronger because we chose each other."

I want a calendar where every day says here and now

true love.

"And do you, Bob, promise to treat Karen as well as you treat your vintage 1950 Indian Blackhawk motorcycle?"

'No, your stock didn't split. The fact it's worth half of what it was yesterday is just an amazing coincidence.'

"I've finally found my soulmate."

"In my previous life I was arugula."

'I had to make him my best man. He's my best friend.'

'Well, your wife is now a den mother! You have triplets!'

'I'm switching you from long-term growth stocks to short-term bonds.'

'...and despite DNA predictions of incompatibility...'

' And after getting an excellent divorce settlement, Cinderella married an even more charming prince, and lived happily ever after.'

Prince trying to climb to Rapunzel. Has a wig in his hands.

Feelings towards radios #8 People worshipping a radio.

"Yes, Jimmy, this is how you'll look if you keep working out with your rubber strap!"

'As your Guardian Angel, I want you to know that death is not anything to worry about.'

Meet Aron Kowalski: The only person in the USA who hasn't been abducted by aliens...

Colin was always looking for new ways to communicate complex financial products.

"It's true - we totally have the best religion!"

'All I did was tell him his bonds were backed by the full faith and credit of the U.S. government.'

'Those stretching exercises you have been practicing are really working!'

"Yeah! Well, I don't believe in karma."

God Shows His Love In Many Ways...

"Me? I'm really scared and sad these days..."

'Where have you been all your life? Everybody knows that zero coupon bonds are the way to go!'

Wait Here. Employment Office. My belief that if you can't say something nice about a person you shouldn't say anything at all spelled doom for my career as a radio talk show host.

Aliens - they're all the same.

'Thanks, guys, but I already have a religion.'

"I see prosperity in your future."

'NOW surely they gotta believe I wuz innocent?'

'No kidding? You're really St. Paul? -- I'm from St. Paul!'