Estate Shenanigans Pillows

"..and to my cat, Wilhelm, I leave my wifes best couch."

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

'She'll never look for me here.'

"Mum, I got the job!"

Yard Sale

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

"The high price is due to the great view of the beach."

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

STRIP "Looks like the escalators on the blink again"

"Done Dad! I've hacked the dog's social media account and flooded it and his contacts with links to cat videos..."

Fisherman catches swimmer.

"Tonight's top stories—chaos, pandemonium, mayhem, and the latest shenanigans of ____."

"With skyrocketing condo prices these days I can easily get $2.5 million."

'All the fourth grade guys took a blood oath not to learn anything during the summer.'

The invention of baseball.

'It's crazy what a peep will eat.'

"Ms. Thomas, you'll have to come pick up your son. He's swinging from the chandelier claiming that he can and will divide by zero."

The Movers Strip - Use of mirrors in selling a property

"It's a modest studio flat with own garden, 30 minutes from central London."

"Watch out for the low beams!"

'We've got it narrowed down to between three and twenty-three pounds.'

'The house has been repossessed by the Devil ...'

'Grab the wand! Grab the wand!'

'I got caught cribbing from Charley Jones' laptop!'

'Is it my fault the supermarket trolley had a mind of its own?'

"You might fake an illness at home, but here, only a fever makes her a believer."

Homeless elderly parents - 'Isn't it nice that our kids are finally on the property ladder?'

"About that house I bought from you three years ago - the heating system keeps breaking down, the pipes leak, the foundation is cracking...I want my money back."

'And now, before we sign the lease on your apartment, repeat after me...I do solemnly swear that during the terms of this lease, I will have no children...'

'Best property deal he ever did.'

'Well, goodbye. And thanks for your feigned interest.'

Man riding a fish

'I demand a second opinion!'

'Isn't it amazing how we can fall asleep standing?'