Estate Shenanigans Gifts

"..and to my cat, Wilhelm, I leave my wifes best couch."

'We're just like family. Stop mumbling, Cindy. Straighten up, Fred. Get that hair out of your eyes, Janet...'

"Mum, I got the job!"

'She'll never look for me here.'

Yard Sale

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

"The high price is due to the great view of the beach."

"Do you prefer lavender scent or strawberry?"

"Done Dad! I've hacked the dog's social media account and flooded it and his contacts with links to cat videos..."

STRIP "Looks like the escalators on the blink again"

Fisherman catches swimmer.

"With skyrocketing condo prices these days I can easily get $2.5 million."

'All the fourth grade guys took a blood oath not to learn anything during the summer.'

"Tonight's top stories—chaos, pandemonium, mayhem, and the latest shenanigans of ____."

The invention of baseball.

"Ms. Thomas, you'll have to come pick up your son. He's swinging from the chandelier claiming that he can and will divide by zero."

'It's crazy what a peep will eat.'

"It's a modest studio flat with own garden, 30 minutes from central London."

The Movers Strip - Use of mirrors in selling a property

"Watch out for the low beams!"

'We've got it narrowed down to between three and twenty-three pounds.'

'The house has been repossessed by the Devil ...'

'Grab the wand! Grab the wand!'

'I got caught cribbing from Charley Jones' laptop!'

'Is it my fault the supermarket trolley had a mind of its own?'

"You might fake an illness at home, but here, only a fever makes her a believer."

Homeless elderly parents - 'Isn't it nice that our kids are finally on the property ladder?'

'And now, before we sign the lease on your apartment, repeat after me...I do solemnly swear that during the terms of this lease, I will have no children...'

"About that house I bought from you three years ago - the heating system keeps breaking down, the pipes leak, the foundation is cracking...I want my money back."

'Best property deal he ever did.'

'Well, goodbye. And thanks for your feigned interest.'

Man riding a fish

'I demand a second opinion!'

'Isn't it amazing how we can fall asleep standing?'