Property Pranksters Pillows

'And now, before we sign the lease on your apartment, repeat after me...I do solemnly swear that during the terms of this lease, I will have no children...'

I'll take it!

"Here's what I'm gonna do."

Retirement homes' 'pill fight'.

'Wow, Jimmy, that's pretty good!'

'But he qualifies for medicare in dog years.'

A Mix Up Between the Buggy and Lawn Mower.

'ANOTHER Shakespeare play?!! Look, all we wanted was the user manual for a sandwich maker.'

'I don't think Marmaduke has ever seen a vegetarian before.'

Yard Sale

"No! I am your father!" "Noooooo!"

Kid about scratched up car to dad: 'I made a mistake washing the car with a brillo pad.'

Wait – is that your dad? Tunnel of Love.

"When all else fails, blow darts still get their attention."

ABC Diapers. Comfy Tushy Diapers. Now 3 times more absorbent! Note to self: Drink 4 times more juice.

"We can speak freely now. I've encrypted the line."

"I absolutely guarantee your workloads will not increase."

'For Sale by Neighbor'

At Lego corporate headquarters.

-'Okay Rebel, find the drugs.' -'Are you kidding? There's dirty underwear here!'

Someone's going to have to tell him he's adopted...

"It's dress down day!"

"You want me to explain how there were two doughnuts in the larder and now there is only one? Easy, it was too dark in there to see the second one."

Back to the Holidays

'Let's just keep quiet about this, and maybe some terrorist group will claim credit.'

"I think we both know who did it...."

'Oh yeah, ths boss is going to love the new hire.'

"Will you two stop giggling every time I say 'assets'?"

It is always something whenever Grandmother watches little Louis.

"I'm in here...reallocating Dad's retirement account into junk bonds."

'Your request for a company vehicle has been approved, however, it's not the Cadillac you wanted. Since you need the exercise, you're getting a skateboard.'

Cuckoo bird in office.

'If straw and sticks don't appeal, I do have something in brick that might interest you.'

"The house is great, but compared to reality show realtors, you're a big disappointment."

Remember, when we show mommy, we pretend this was your idea, ok?