Property Prowler Pillows

"Well, if that's your only concern, I suggest you simply make an offer conditional upon the removal of all monsters."

"How are the schools in this neighborhood?"

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Yard Sale

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

'Well, the rent is a bit more expensive than usual because there are only 1 327 482 other tenants...'

'Next on 'evening shouting match'...is it a bull or bear market?'

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

"This one has nicer sand, but I think I prefer the tree on the last one we saw."

Starter Homes

"Obviously the price of this property is a reflection of it`s very desirable location."

"You've got termites."

'It looked a lot bigger in the photos.'

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

"If a sixth borough opens up, I'll let you know."

'I need to get a bigger place.'

"This is a lovely three bedroom detached property, with close proximity to Heathrow and the M25!"

"Yes, it's nice, but it's lost twenty per-cent of its value in the past year."

"It has tremendous possibilities."

House Hunters of the Old West

"Did I mention it needed a little work?"

"That's way out of my price range..."

"With skyrocketing condo prices these days I can easily get $2.5 million."

"Thinking of buying a larger property are we, Madam?"

Man in house with no roof on phone to estate agent: "Look, this house is unfinished. Please stop saying, 'It gets a lot of light'."

'I'm sure a little baking soda will freshen it up in here.'

"... And how long have you had this irrational fear that you'll never get a mortgage?"

'You'll need to put these on before the inspection.'

"It's a modest studio flat with own garden, 30 minutes from central London."

The Movers Strip - Use of mirrors in selling a property

Real estate bubble

"You want a cheap house in a nice neighborhood? -- Okay, why are you here really?"

"Watch out for the low beams!"