Property Prowler Pillows

"Well, if that's your only concern, I suggest you simply make an offer conditional upon the removal of all monsters."

"How are the schools in this neighborhood?"

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Yard Sale

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'Oh look, the tide is coming in.'

'Next on 'evening shouting match'...is it a bull or bear market?'

'Well, the rent is a bit more expensive than usual because there are only 1 327 482 other tenants...'

"Good to see they're trying to keep the high street vibe."

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

"This one has nicer sand, but I think I prefer the tree on the last one we saw."

Starter Homes

"Obviously the price of this property is a reflection of it`s very desirable location."

"You've got termites."

'It looked a lot bigger in the photos.'

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

"If a sixth borough opens up, I'll let you know."

'I need to get a bigger place.'

"This is a lovely three bedroom detached property, with close proximity to Heathrow and the M25!"

"Yes, it's nice, but it's lost twenty per-cent of its value in the past year."

"It has tremendous possibilities."

"Did I mention it needed a little work?"

"That's way out of my price range..."

House Hunters of the Old West

"Thinking of buying a larger property are we, Madam?"

"With skyrocketing condo prices these days I can easily get $2.5 million."

Man in house with no roof on phone to estate agent: "Look, this house is unfinished. Please stop saying, 'It gets a lot of light'."

'I'm sure a little baking soda will freshen it up in here.'

"... And how long have you had this irrational fear that you'll never get a mortgage?"

'You'll need to put these on before the inspection.'

"It's a modest studio flat with own garden, 30 minutes from central London."

Real estate bubble

'They've got everything...one even has it's own shed.'

'When you said view of park, you didn't say it was a CAR park!'